SNAKES ON A PLANE, what's in a name?

This summer, one movie will be released, which history will show to be one of the most influential films of the 21st century. It's got the goods to make moviegoing magical again. It's got the emotional force to make you want to dress up to go to the theater again. It's got snakes. It's got a plane. It's got Samuel L. Jackson, that delicious, purple-lightsabered bad ass motherfucker with bigger 'nads than that brass bull on Wall Street. It's SNAKES ON A PLANE, bitch, SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE! That title is enough to just cancel the Oscars and award the little gold statue to the folks at New Line, right now, before it even hits theaters.

Why? It's just so fun to say. "Snakes on a plane". It's a nice, assonant title. It's got that alliteration thing going, sort of like "points in the paint", and it's catchy, like "junk in the trunk". But would a film by any other name still generate the sweet smell of cash money? Negative, ghost rider. "Pacific Flight 121" sounds like it's trying too hard to be something it's not, namely an action movie that people will take seriously as an action movie. "Pacific Flight 121" is the kid in school who dressed like the popular kids did, used their slang, and lurked in their hallway in hopes of one day being able to pass off as one of them to the unknowing underclassmen. "Snakes on a Plane" is the ugly jackass who embraces his status and eventually ends up delivering the graduation speech, while sleeping with more than a few cheerleaders along the way. Internet cult followings will never organically grow around "Pacific Flight 121" . Songs aren't written about "Pacific Flight 121". "Pacific Flight 121" will never turn into a catch-phrase. And who would buy a "Pacific Flight 121" t-shirt?

Unfortunately, the greatness that will be Snakes on a Plane will have to remain confined to our collective imaginations, until it is released on August 18.