National Chumps?

Oh, March. You started off so promising. You gave us Bradley over Kansas and Northwestern State over Iowa in a buzzer-beater that you just can't script. You gave us an epic Washington-UCONN game that fans of both teams will remember for a very long time. You gave us Miracle Mason in the Final Four.

So why on God's green earth did you stick us with two clunkers like Florida and UCLA for the national title? The selection committee is partially to blame. Sticking a fairly strong UCLA team in a bracket with the weakest #1 seed (Memphis), a historic choker (Gonzaga), and a team that blew its load in its conference championship (Kansas) almost destroys all the karma you built up when you gave GMU the chance to dance. And fuck you, Morrison. You had 17 points on the Bruins and you let it slip away. You let UCLA and their boring brand of basketball (that they, admittedly, are good enough at times to impose successfully on others) take the day, and now they're in the final.



I hate to say this, but I'd much rather have seen the much-predicted "good versus evil" Duke-UCONN showdown than this mess. I'd also have rather seen Gonzaga-UCONN (or Gonzaga-anyone) for that matter; Mustache Morrison leading a mid-major into the national championship for the first time would have been historic to see.

And what of UNC-Texas? The mighty Longhorns going not only for the triple crown (football, baseball, and now basketball national championships) but to dash the repeat dreams of yet another defending champ. The only saving grace of this tourney is Joakim "Poor! Hungry! Driven! Hoo-AH!" Noah and his afro to entertain us.

It's almost enough for me to wish that college basketball had the BCS. Almost.