SWANS, i.e. Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse

There's a phrase about statistics: "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is tantalizing, but what they hide is vital." Keep this in mind if you read Christine Whelan's book, "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women", which, according to the author, "[shatters] the myth about success and singledom".

The gist of the book is fairly obvious from its front and back covers. It reads as a metaphorical middle finger to men like Michael Noer who assert that intelligence and high achievment are turnoffs to men, especially intelligent, high-achieving ones. It also serves as a kick in the ass for all "woe-is-me" singletons who blame their unmarried status on how men are Too Intimidated (or, alternatively, how men Don't Want To Be Challenged, or Only Want A Pretty Face).

One such statistic is that 92% of high-achieving men say they are more attracted to women who are successful in their careers, while almost 90% reported that they wanted to marry a woman who was “as intelligent as they are, or more.” I wonder about the sample size of the men surveyed, or if these men knew they were being surveyed for purposes of writing a book geared toward convincing intelligent female singletons that the reason why men don't want to marry them is not because of their intelligence. I also wonder how each of such 92% define "successful".



In practice, men I've informally "surveyed" have had varying opinions on the topic. While few are as adamantly against coupling with smart women as Noer, some men believe that educated, ambitious women have more "hang-ups" and life stressors and would make less fulfilling mates. Other men find ambition, intelligence and confidence such a turn-on that it borders on fetishism. One man enjoyed dating an attorney because she was at the office all the time and didn't have to deal with her much (quite the winner, he was), and another man - an HBS grad, no less - had no qualms marrying a woman who used the word "ecliptic" to describe the city of Asheville in her wedding invites.

In short, I've found there to be an "optimum point" of intelligence/ambition/success, and if a woman goes beyond that point, those qualities start becoming turn-offs, as opposed to turn-ons.
In other words, the book would be much more telling if it were written by a smart man.

Question for the Audience: While few men actively seek stupid women, exactly where is this optimum point? Is there one? Would you prefer to date the 20something equivalent of Condi Rice, Hillary Clinton or Sandra Day O'Connor over a nice, pretty girl who worked in the marketing department of Ralph Lauren, graduated with a 3.6 from a flagship state school and never got a bad annual review in her life but didn't really have any ambition to "rule the world" or otherwise achieve some degree of elite level in her career or other pursuits?

Quiz Yourself! The book also has a website containing Cosmo-esque quizzes where women (of all intelligences!) can predict the age when they are most likely to get hitched. There's also a quiz to test if a woman is among the SWANS, i.e. Strong Woman Achievers No Spouse, who Whelan claims will get married, but just later.

Note: For other blog discussions on this book, click here.