YouTube Juxtapositions, and more New York shout-outs

The inevitable has occured. Someone has created that gleefully inappropriate mash-up trailer that we all have been itching for, but would never admit to wanting such, even in the night's darkest hours, when we are all alone with our thoughts, the darkeness, and almighty God. Yes, I'm talking about the juxtaposition of United 93 and Snakes on a Plane (with a little Gladiator thrown in). We know it had to happen, its arrival into the world is as natural as water running down a drain pipe, falling predestined-like to the Earth below. Thankfully, this is not the handiwork of someone trying to expose any supposed political metaphors in Samuel L's cheesefest. Like a cigar is just a cigar, sometimes a snake is just a snake. This mock trailer is pure bad taste, unadulterated by politics. Let us rejoice in the humanity that is bad taste.



Now for another YouTube wonder - the glory that is FunTwo. He turned a sleepy wedding dirge into a veritable rock anthem (yes, I know dirges are played at funerals and processionals are played at weddings, but, as DCfC sing, those are just different names for the same thing). Another fun fact about the Canon in D - the chord progression in the Canon is the same as the chord progression in Green Day's freshman hit Basket Case, and if you juxtapose the two together (which I've heard live in concert but never recorded), you get one fucking good rock song. Below is FunTwo's Canon, and if anyone can get me a file of Canon in D juxtaposed with Basket Case, I'll be your best friend.




New York Shout-Outs: This part will be very boring to readers who do not live in NYC, but as I'm slowly encroaching on my 2-year anniversary as a Manhattan resident, I thought I'd give a shout-out to a few places that I have gotten to know and love during my time here.

Ushi Wakamaru. You know if it's good sushi if the Japanese Mafia dine here. The outside and inner decor makes it look like the kind of raw fish joint where the first few bites of spicy salmon are OK, but you have to choke down the rest. But once a few choice pieces of fatty tuna find their way down your gullet, you'll be a believer. Be warned - this is not a trendy place. You will not get lesbian models making out at the neighboring table like you would (and I did) at Bond St. Sushi. Nor will you get the classic first-date ambience of Blue Ribbon Sushi, or the "proposal date" pricetag of Nobu. But you will get raw baby shrimps that, according to the head chef and owner, can only be found on an island off the coast of Tokyo. Yep, this stuff is so exotic it has to be flown into Tokyo. The menu is in Japanese, the waitstaff are not terribly well-versed in English, and you'll get the sneaking suspicion that the restaurant doubles as a geisha house.

Fall Fashion Week. It's time to worship high fashion in plastic tents set up in Bryant Park again. Fall Fashion Week starts Friday, September 8. And it's surprisingly easy to sneak in. Pretend you're an underaged co-ed trying to overconfidence her way into getting into that bar that takes everyone's IDs. At least that's how we snuck into Fashion Week in 2004. The best part, though, is the open bar of blackberry martinis, D-list celebrity sightings (e.g. Justin Gatlin, fresh from his Sydney golds), and homosexuals of the Carson Kressley variety prancing about.

Park Avenue Country Club. It's college football season again, and this is the best place to watch games in New York City. There will be just as many Michigan fans as Notre Dame fans as USC fans as Texas fans packing their way into this sports bar to end all sports bars (it's just as much a country club as Houston street is pronounced the Texas way). Trash-talking will abound.

New York City Opera. If you're between 21 and 39, you can pay $50 for "membership" in their "Big Deal" program, which allows you to buy the best available tickets for $30 on any given night to see any of their operas. Or, if you still own your old university I.D., you could use it to get $16 student tickets.

Annie's. Best place for brunch on the UES, although their eggs benedict has fallen down a bit as of late.

Eatery. Best place for brunch on the UWS, complete with the gay 80s britpop bopping in the background and electric-green kiwi martinis.

Mercer Kitchen. Best second date place, you know, when you know you like a girl enough to spend a little more money on her (note to readers: I actually have been here on second dates).

Locale. Best hope for Queens. Try their lemon mojitos. If Locale is the future of Astoria, then Astoria might be the next Park Slope. If you meet a guy who happens to live in Queens, ask him to take you here. Note to readers: I have not actually eaten anything here. I have drank a lot of their lemon mojitos, though.

Enoteca. Best wine bar, with great munchies (I Trulli owns the place, and you can get "cheaper" versions of their meals here with your wine). Stumbling distance from Park Avenue Country Club - quite convenient after the World Cup final, where we celebrated Italy's victory with some Italian wine. Note to readers: we would have celebrated the French victory in like fashion.

Crumbs. Best bakery. Located right by Annie's on the UES, right by Citrus (another great mojito place) on the UWS, and by Bryant Park in Midtown. With cupcake flavors from Fluffernutter to Pistachio Buttercream to Cappucino to Key Lime to "Hostess Cupcake" (complete with the little squiggle on top), you just can't pass by this place.

Andre's Cafe. Best Hungarian food. I had, unimaginatively, the stuffed cabbage and other dishes recommended to me by my friend's Eastern European mother, and didn't even try any of their supposedly legendary pastries, but according to a reader who did, the experience eating there was "almost as good as sex".

Kashkaval. Best fondue. This cheese-and-sandwich shop doubles as a wine-and-fondue bar in the back. Step in from 9th Avenue, and you feel like you've been transported at least 4,000 miles east, but to what country I don't know. The fondue and cheese suggest French, but the tapenades and pitas suggest something more Mediterranean. Try the chicken curry salad, too.

Farmers' Markets. I frequent the one on 57th and 9th (open July-December, 8AM-6PM, Wednesdays and Saturdays), but the biggest one is in Union Square. Nowhere else in the city can you get peaches bigger than your fist without the Whole Foods-sized lines.

Brass Monkey. The only place in the Meatpacking district worth me putting in my contact lenses for. Attractive crowd (read: preppy, with occasional British or Irish ex-pats), inexpensive but ample beer selection, and usually good music. This is what all the UES and Murray Hill bars probably used to be before the guidos and other undesirables took over.

That's it for now - if any of The Loyal Readership has any more suggestions to add to this list, please add via comment.