More Armchair Anthropology
In the name of pseudo-scientific discovery, I changed my Match.com profile. The Old Profile stated my love for novels by Palahniuk, Orson Scott Card and Hunter S. Thompson and my (somewhat ambitious) yearning to run a sub-3 marathon before I die. My "headline" was lovingly ripped off from the title of an old-school Bond movie. It also exposed a weakness for Puccini, gin, the Firefly series and journeys to parts of the globe to where the U.S. government advises its citizens to suspend non-essential travel (Nepal, anyone?). It also stated my occupation, educational level and income. Most importantly, it was all true.
I thought it was a damn good profile, the kind that Bond himself might linger on for a few bits of time. However, it got a lukewarm reception from the menfolk, with my biggest fans being 45+ divorcees looking for women aged 18-29, and the occasional U.S. or British army officer stuck in Afghanistan. But radio silence from the men I actually wanted to hear from, namely men aged 24-32 with at least a Bachelor's degree and a six-figure salary.
So I got inspired. Enough episodes of The Bachelor have taught me that it's not the craftiest horse that wins the race, but the best looking. And if you don't have the looks, at least be Nice And Non-Threatening.
My new profile thus depicts a girl who makes $35K a year as a secretary at a large investment bank in the financial district. Her "likes" include brunch, volunteer work and reading chick lit in the Park. She lists her love of window-shopping in Soho as indicative of an affinity to the outdoors. The profile contains the ol' chestnut of describing one's self as "the kind of person who is just as comfortable in high heels as she is throwing back beers with the boys". The "new me" claims to be just as happy eating at Red Lobster as at any 3-star Michelin eating house. She lists her favorite color as pink and Yellowstone as a much-loved vacation spot.
And the hits just keep on comin'.
Men that I "winked" at six months ago that never, ever responded now send me emails proclaiming how my affinity to brunch makes them think that I have "something interesting to say, unlike most girls", and how I seem to have the traits that they view as relationship-quality. For some reason, they never fail to find a way to weasel What They Do and How Much They Make into their introductory emails. Hedge funders with Princeton degrees and $150K+ salaries profess, "from your profile, it seems we have alot [sic] in common!"
Humph. Turns out that when it comes time to relationships, men prefer Miss Moneypenny to Honey Ryder or Pussy Galore.
On an unrelated note - 5 Songs To Download Now:
1) The Great Gate At Kiev (from Pictures at an Exhibition) - Mussorgsky
2) Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
3) Sonho Dourado - Daniel Lanois (Friday Night Lights soundtrack)
4) Catch The Wind - Donovan
5) Breathe Me - Sia
posted by Plain Jane Jones @ 2:56 PM
7 Comments:
Are you going to go out with any of these guys?
I hope you realize that just like you're lying to these men, they're probably doing the same to you. Hedge fund managers that make six plus figures and went to Harvard can take their pick of women. They don't need Match.com to get a date. Good luck.
The funny thing about internet dating in NY is that it's overpopulated with overworked professionals. Men who work 70+ hours a week don't have the time to meet women, even if they would be able to have their pick of them. That's the draw of the website. So unless these men want to put in the effort to interact with desirable women on a regular basis, chances are they've filled out a profile on some e-dating service so they can meet women even if they're stuck in their office at 2AM on a Saturday night.
E-dating only attains this level of popularity in NY. Men and women who move to NY from places as disparate as L.A., London and Toronto comment on how they never thought they'd fill out an e-dating profile until they moved to NYC. NYC is a city that places convenience at a premium (hence the Duane Reades on every corner), so internet dating is consistent with this kind of lifestyle.
Huskerhornfan has a point...I do think a decent number may be lying to you, or at least exaggerating significantly about their credentials, because they assume they can get away with it. They probably see your profile, and assume an admin. assistant who recently arrived in NYC from a small town and didn't go to a high-powered school won't know enough about what different jobs in finance are and what levels of compensation, bonus, etc. each one is associated with. So, yeah, the guy may work "in finance" or in something associated with finance (like half of NYC), but he probably isn't on the hedge fund management track and he probably isn't making what he says he makes.
"Men who work 70+ hours a week don't have the time to meet women, even if they would be able to have their pick of them. That's the draw of the website. So unless these men want to put in the effort to interact with desirable women on a regular basis, chances are they've filled out a profile on some e-dating service so they can meet women even if they're stuck in their office at 2AM on a Saturday night. "
Sure, some of them--but when you are a well-connected man who is single and works in a field that's all about connections and went to a good undergrad, etc., it's not like the internet is your only option for finding a date, even when you work late. I'd assume that those connections end up being pretty useful in finding a date or relationship.
Your ideal man, Jane (connected, rich, social, family came over on the Mayflower, etc)--well, most of them aren't going to be looking on Match.com, sweetie. They have enough of a lifetime social network to probably not need the internet.
Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with finding a mate online, but what I assume are your specific requirements (and boy, they seem like a lot!) just aren't conducive to internet dating.
I find you an interesting case, because you have this ideal, this incredibly high standard you set for yourself and for others, but it's so unwavering and rigid that I fear you will wind up alone and miserable. It's ok to compromise and give a little here and there--we all do it, and sometimes, in the process, you find something or someone you never even knew you wanted and can't imagine having lived without.
Yeah, goddamn those men for wanting some one down to earth and not pretentious instead of a self absorbed bitch like yourself.
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